Answer these 5 questions for increased joy
Today’s column shares five simple questions, using the community joy approach, to increase your joy and wellbeing. When we support our own joy, we can more effectively catalyze joy and wellbeing in our organizations and social circles. From there, we can build a more powerful community joy movement, and that will increase our own joy and wellbeing, continuing a virtuous cycle.
Record your responses to this simple assessment in a journal. Identify one or a few joyful practices that are simple, impactful, and address the greatest needs you identify. Don’t try to do everything at once — take manageable bites, and you’ll be amazed at the progress you will make. Return to these questions periodically, as I do, to continue your journey of joy.
1) Do I feel connected?
Further questions about key relationships include: am I connected with my spouse/ children/ parents/ siblings? With other family members? With friends? With people in my community?
If you aren’t feeling as connected as you’d like, what is missing: frequency of connection? Depth? Type? Are you, like so many of us, working in a virtual world, and not interacting enough in person with people each day?
Your answers will help you tailor your personal intervention. Taking actions can require some vulnerability, but you can do it. Start with what is easy and manageable. A few ideas: make the 8-minute phone call to someone each day, commit to texting or calling a friend on the way to work, or walk through your neighborhood — without looking at your phone — and say hi to your neighbors.
2) Am I pursuing purpose each day?
Opportunities for purpose are all around.
Some connect with purpose in our daily work — but for those who don’t, you can still find purpose in the work you are doing. Maybe it’s smiling at a co-worker or asking how they’re doing, answering the phone with kindness, reconnecting with the mission of your workplace, or finding small opportunities to change your workplace to better align with your purpose. Maybe it’s recognizing that the money you earn advances your purpose of supporting your family or community.
You also can take small steps toward more purpose-aligned work. Have informational conversations with people in a more aligned line of work. Find a volunteer opportunity or side hustle to try something that aligns with your passions.
You can find purpose outside work too — by volunteering, giving to nonprofits, or voting. Send me a note if you’d like to volunteer with, or donate to, East Boston Social Centers. Check out Volunteer Match to find other opportunities in your community.
You can find great purpose too in serving friends and family. Start by doing something you know will bring joy to a loved one.
3) Am I meeting my fitness goals?
Sub-questions here include: 1) Am I getting about 150 minutes of exercise a week? (Note: every minute helps and repetition helps more, so if you are starting from scratch, begin with a small amount of exercise you can do each day and build from there) 2) Am I eating foods that promote mental health and happiness and minimizing harmful foods? 3) Am I getting enough sleep and following good sleep hygiene?
Identify practices that move you closer to answering yes to those questions.
4) Am I finding time each day for contemplation?
I aim for daily meditation and prayer — though I don’t always get there. I also love spending time in nature and enjoying music. The benefits of mindfulness are well-documented (the happiest person in the world is a Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard). But mindfulness isn’t for everyone, and it’s OK if it’s not for you. What is important is finding space and time to slow down, settle the mind, and be fully present in the way that resonates for you.
5) Am I having fun?
Am I doing activities I love? Am I laughing? Laughter, humor, and play make a huge difference for happiness. If you need more fun, reach out to a loved one and strengthen relationships through a fun activity, or join a local activity and meet people through an organization like Boston Ski and Sports Club. Go to an improve comedy night or listen to a comedy podcast. Opportunities for fun are all around. By the way — if you make your pursuit of fitness, contemplation, purpose or relationships fun, you’re much more likely to stick with it.
This is the first of three columns providing simple, powerful tools to drive increased joy. This column focuses on individual joy; part two on organizational joy; and part three on community joy.
This also is the ninth of a series of posts about increasing joy in community: the only way we can significantly increase joy. Whether you’re seeking the best ways to increase your joy; working to make your community the next Denmark; seeking to save democracy; hoping to boost health and well being; or just a friend who is reading along, this column is for you. If you like it, please share this work. To join our movement, please send me an email or consider supporting East Boston Social Centers: https://www.ebsocialcenters.org/support