How to build a community of gratitude, joy and purpose — by Tom O’Brien

Justin Pasquariello
4 min readOct 6, 2023

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This week’s post is adapted (with permission) from the remarks Tom O’Brien gave at our East Boston Social Centers gala, where he received the Courage in Leadership Award, recognizing his steadfast support of so many in East Boston, Boston and beyond.

He so eloquently captured community joy (and how we build it), gratitude (which is essential, and which intersects with our pillars of joy including mindfulness), purpose, and relationships here — that I asked to share these remarks in this post. — Justin

I did not grow up in East Boston, but I’ve learned over time that if you want to understand East Boston…you need to know the East Boston Social Centers.

One of the first lessons I have learned is that any time you’re outside of East Boston and are looking for friends from this neighborhood, just say these words:

“When All Give, All Gain.”

And in an instant, those from East Boston will light up and identify themselves.

“When All Give, All Gain.”

Five words that serve as a promise that we can each live up to each day.

Tonight, we are all invited to Give, so that everyone in East Boston can Gain. And in that shared abundance, the possibilities for this great historic neighborhood become endless.

When all Give, all Gain.

One of the greatest commodities that is Given and Gained in East Boston is joy.

The theologian Karl Barth said that joy is the simplest form of gratitude. So an enterprise, a community, a mission that is grounded in joy reminds us to be grateful. Grateful for the rich history of this community. Grateful for the legacy of innovation and craftsmanship and the values that built this city and this country. Grateful for the ideas, perspectives, and dreams of our new neighbors, moving from across the water and around the world to this great neighborhood.

And grateful for the joy of working together to expand access to opportunity, and to create a neighborhood that fuses heritage and history with hope and endless possibility.

I love that the Social Centers measures its impact by measuring the level of joy the organization is helping to foster in East Boston.

Imagine that in our world today — a world that measures almost everything in strict mathematical terms — everything that is except Joy.

Joy is a term that is way underutilized in our world. And yet, here we are celebrating the Social Centers: this joyous organization. Thank you for all you do to remind us that finding joy every day helps us to find purpose each day…….and in turn we understand that true joy is found when we help others find Joy.

The HYM team feels special joy tonight because of a new dimension to our partnership with the East Boston Social Centers at Suffolk Downs.

EBSC and HYM want to ensure the needs of young children and families and seniors are met. And who better to meet those needs than the organization that has served this community with excellence for the last century?

Our partnership at Suffolk Downs reflects a shared vision of community — a beautiful space where families and individuals will thrive — a place where everyone, no matter their age, race, identity, or education, can live, work, eat a meal or enjoy well-designed public space…a community that is knit together by shared hopes and dreams, and common effort in pursuit of those aspirations.

Thank you for recognizing our team and our work tonight. I pray we all may strive each day to find joy in our own lives by helping others find joy in theirs.

Tom O’Brien, the author of this post, is Managing Partner and CEO of the HYM Investment Group. His company is leading the way on the most transformative neighborhood-building real estate projects in Greater Boston. They bring a unique long-term strategy and philosophy to this neighborhood building work — and as long-term neighbors, they become deeply invested in their communities — including right here in East Boston.

He is a regular high up on the list of the most influential Bostonians. He is a prodigy — a Theo Epstein of real estate, who led the then BRA (now Boston Planning and Development Agency) at the age of 29.

Tom has received many well-deserved awards for his leadership, for his service to Greater Boston (and East Boston), and for his work to build a more equitable future. He leads with strong social justice values, informed by his strong faith. (bio by Justin Pasquariello)

This is the 31st post about boosting joy the only way we can: in community. Please share, subscribe (https://medium.com/@justinpasquariello), and join our movement by emailing me or supporting East Boston Social Centers: https://www.ebsocialcenters.org/support. Stay joyful, East Boston.

From left: Honorees Elsa Flores, Debra Cave, and Tom O’Brien (each of whom brings much joy to East Boston and beyond), together with Justin Pasquariello at the East Boston Social Centers gala on September 27.

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Justin Pasquariello
Justin Pasquariello

Written by Justin Pasquariello

Justin is Executive Director at East Boston Social Centers, where we are leading an evidence-based movement to significantly increase community joy.

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