How to live in the snack aisle
I began this column after 12 hours without a working smartphone — with 36 hours until the arrival of the new one.
I had driven to my Eastie Rising[1] run with friends. When I returned, my phone wouldn’t easily turn on.
My wife confirmed my phone wasn’t working — I had to go to the shop.
My walk to the bus stop was different. I couldn’t check my bus schedule app, so I walked the extra mile to Orient Heights T station — and just beat the bus. I didn’t have the usual compulsion to determine what I “needed” to look at my phone for on the walk.
But also, I had some phone withdrawal. I decided to take a mindful approach, recognizing my irritability was a choice. I affirmatively chose irritability — and smiled despite myself.
At the train station, I couldn’t use my phone to Google map to the nearest phone store, so I took out my laptop and squatted down, using public WiFi to learn the wireless store wouldn’t open until 10.
On the train, I noticed — to my surprise — I wasn’t the only one without a phone. Other people were reading or even looking around. I didn’t have anything to read, since I’m so used to emailing while in transit — so I looked around too.
As I walked to work, I looked at people. I smiled. I thought. I observed. I prayed.
Throughout the day, there were fewer disruptions because my phone didn’t go off. I felt less rushed. I felt lighter.
I wondered: should I get rid of my SmartPhone and go back to a flip? I realized maybe it’s OK not to have real time transit info — and to relearn patience, comfort — and the fun of a little unpredictability.
Maybe we’re so rushed not because we have more to do, but rather because in every moment there is more we can do. And if we want to keep up with each other — each doing more — there is more to do to catch up. (Could AI make this worse? Will we soon say “I’ll have my AI talk to your AI”?)
I realized having a SmartPhone is like living in the snack food aisle. It’s easier to eat healthily at home if you don’t have the snacks on hand. It’s much harder when you’re surrounded by delicious, anti-nutritious snacks — and a few healthy options on the edges.
I’ve already eliminated almost all alerts (other than for calls and texts) and ensured I can’t use the social media apps on my phone. I want to limit use — but even still, in any moment of waiting: at an elevator, at a train, at my kids’ swim practice — I feel compelled to check email and I find my mind wondering what else I “need to” check — like a weather update or a junk email account.
I’ve read a lot about the negative mental health impact of social media — but a very quick search reveals many articles about negative mental health impacts of too much smartphone use.[2] The widespread tandem adoption of both smartphones and social media has exacerbated the impact of each alone — particularly for teens.
When, less than a day later, my replacement phone arrived, I didn’t rush to set it up. I relished a few more hours until the next morning. But ultimately I did set it up. I love listening to music, having GPS, connecting via text and Whatsapp, taking photos of my kids — all with one device — and I had this replacement that I’m under contract for anyway.
So if many of us will keep them: what is a community joy approach for Smartphones? I’m still figuring it out, but here are some thoughts:
1) Notice which apps bring joy. Ask what advances your purpose, supports your relationships, and brings you fun. Delete or disable (on Android and on iPhones) apps that don’t.
2) Keep your phone away (or don’t bring it) when on walks or trains, in nature, or with friends. Contemplate. Tell your loved ones you aren’t always going to be on — so you know they know and you’re not worried about them panicking if you don’t instantly respond.
3) Disable notifications (on iPhones and on Androids) you don’t need.
4) Put your phone face down, away from you at work. Use the Pomodoro method and don’t use your phone during a Pomodoro. Put your phone in a different room when at home.
5) Take Digital Sabbaths. Spend those Sabbaths in joyful pursuits.
6) Take your phone and listen to fun music or podcasts if you are doing a fitness activity, like running alone. Better yet, leave your phone behind and do your fitness activity with friends.
7) Community approach: Develop shared norms with family, friends, or co-workers to make items 1–6 the “downhill” (i.e. easier) path. For example, at the Social Centers, we are working to have no emails arrive late in the evening — so there is no expectation of responding at those hours.
(Or you could just get that old school flip phone — if you can find one. Tell me if you do.)
[1] More on that in a future post
[2] Although interestingly, there also seem to be negative impacts from non-use vs. light use, as highlighted in the first hyperlinked study.
This is the eleventh of a series of posts about increasing joy in community: the only way we can significantly increase joy. Whether you’re seeking the best ways to increase your joy; working to make your community the next Denmark; seeking to save democracy; or just a friend who is reading along, this column is for you. If you like it, please share this work. To join our movement, please send me an email or consider supporting East Boston Social Centers: https://www.ebsocialcenters.org/support
