Joy in the journey
How do we use the community joy approach to live a joyful life?
Community joy is a journey — not a destination.
If we think of that journey to joy as a sailing adventure, the 5 pillars of community joy (relationships, purpose, fitness, contemplation, and fun) [1] are the keel, the sails, and the rudder that move us. The community joy approach uses them together to keep our boat balanced so we can enjoy the journey — and continue to practice, becoming better sailors.
Balance: Most of us have 16 waking hours in a day if we are sleeping enough for joy and wellbeing. We often can’t follow each pillar as much as we would like. But if we keep the five pillars in mind, we can identify what we need most at a given time and find a better balance. Like taking a sail to half-mast to control speed in a strong wind, we can focus on the pillar that will keep us safe from capsizing — and make for smoother sailing.
I am not as present, kind, and patient as I would like to be if I haven’t had some exercise (fitness) — and ideally, a chance to meditate (contemplation). (I don’t bat 1000 if I do those things either — but I do better). At times, I notice I am missing connection with friends and family (relationships); or wanting to do something novel and fun. And so I adjust the sails and look up something fun — a hike, brewery, museum, comedy show — and invite friends to join.
As we notice how we live each pillar — and what makes a difference, we can adjust for better balance. Just as we adjust our sails for balance in varied sailing conditions, we also notice at different times in life, we need to live each pillar differently to find balance.
Enjoy the journey: In times when we are closer to balance, we can “set it and forget it” and take in the beautiful scenery. Joy is most present when we recognize the constancy of change; when we don’t try to hold joy too closely; when we gently allow it to be. Enjoying the journey means focusing enough on the mechanics of sailing (or joy) to sail well — and then sitting back and relaxing in the sun.
Practicing: We are learning to sail while sailing. We can always keep learning and growing and doing better — and enjoying the learning.
Practice isn’t linear, and we will inevitably take steps back sometimes. I wasn’t meditating too much when our children were newborns — but as we had a few more free moments, I gradually picked it up again.
When applying the pillars of joy, it’s best not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good — or the good be the enemy of the something. Some days, fitness might mean a walk around the block or 20 burpees: better to have the small victory than not exercise. Better to send one text to your mom than not communicate; to take a few centered deep breaths than have no contemplation. Each day, even with seemingly no time, we can make small joy moves.
It is good to sail often on clear, sunny, breezy days — so when a storm comes, we have the practice to more confidently, safely navigate it. Similarly, living the community joy pillars gives us more strength and resilience, preparing us to fall back on good habits in tough times.
Community joy goes beyond individual sailboats; community joy means making it easier for everyone to sail.
This community joy work is a journey for our staff, for our programs, and for our community too. At East Boston Social Centers, we believe having more joyful staff helps us deliver more joyful programs and build a more joyful community. We recognize we are on a journey — and we aren’t waiting to get it perfect personally before supporting staff joy or perfect for all staff before supporting joy in programs, etc.. We just keep practicing, and learning.
Similarly, you and I and everyone: we all are both teachers and learners. We can support community joy while we continue our own joy journeys.
Our community joy work means bringing better boats and sailing lessons to everyone on the water. We can’t stop all the storms from coming, but we can make it easier to sail. We have written about structuring more joyful workplaces and programs, and will discuss making joy an easier, more accessible journey for all in posts to come.
Community joy is a journey — not a destination. See you on the water!
[1] Read “Answer these 5 questions for increased joy” for questions to use each community joy pillar in daily life.
This is the sixteenth post about boosting joy the only way we can: in community. Whether you’re increasing your personal joy; making your community the next Finland; saving democracy; or just a friend reading along, this column is for you. Please share and subscribe (https://medium.com/@justinpasquariello). To join our movement, please send me an email or support East Boston Social Centers: https://www.ebsocialcenters.org/support
